Every year around this time, I start to feel a little like Kevin O'Connell -- the man who has been nominated 20 times for an Oscar and never won.
No, I have not been nominated for an Oscar; rather, I have (once again) entered the annual Oscar contest sponsored by our good friend down under: Kris Howard.
I have been entering various Oscar contests for about 20 years -- and usually winning. I used to be invited to the house of some theater friends of mine but they stopped inviting me after I won their contest something like five years in a row.
Unless I am greatly mistaken I have entered Kris' Oscar contest each of the 10 years she has held it -- and never won. No, it's true. A couple years ago I came within one vote of winning (or, at least tying) but faltered at the last moment and lost to someone else who probably never entered the contest before or since. I certainly deserve to win just because I have been there, every year, trying my best. But I imagine, unlike Hollywood, Kris does not give out her awards for a body of effort -- just for whomever correctly guesses the most actual Oscar winners. I suppose that's fair.
Speaking of Kris' awards: Each year she hand makes a sock-monkey variant for the winner (see the montage I created). These are totally cool. Over the past few years, she has made sock monkeys that are characters from one of that year's nominated movies.
I suppose I shouldn't complain about not winning one of her contests because I am actually the proud owner of one of the prizes: the soctopus from 2005. (That year's winner didn't want it or something, and Kris very kindly sent it to me as I had sent her the idea to make a sock octopus. Isn't it cute?)
In fact, we (Matt and I) are the proud owners of THREE of Kris' great sock monkey creations -- starting about 10 years ago when she sent one to Matt. Matt then acquired one for me for my birthday, and then Kris sent me the 2005 Oscar prize. (Sadly for you, you cannot buy these fantastic creations. You have to be, like, really, really good friends with Kris for her to make you one because they take, like, forever to make and she has lots of things to do, not just sit around making a sock monkey for you. Sheece!)
Anyway, if you REALLY want one of her sock monkey creations, you can try your luck in Kris' 10th annual Oscar contest here.
But, seriously, don't expect to win because I have a feeling this is going to be MY year.