You Are Who You Are

I believe that every person should have the right to live his/her life as h/she wishes – as long as it does not include injury of any kind to any other person. Basically, the “your rights end where my nose begins” philosophy. It is certainly not my place to tell any person how to live his/her own life. 

Being gay was not a decision I made: it was a realization that occurred after I was faced with an overwhelming amount of evidence. If I act on being gay, that is my choice and no business of yours. Choosing to live my life as a gay man was a difficult transition, but one I am glad to have made. 

Recently, my husband and I watched the two-part “Medical Center” episode from 1975 called “The Fourth Sex.” (S7E1-2) In it, a successful surgeon has come to the realization that he is a woman living in a man’s body and decides to make the changes necessary to align his body with his feelings. (It is a situation now called gender dysphoria.) The doctor (played by Robert Reed, who was nominated for an Emmy for his performance) must deal with doubting colleagues, a disbelieving wife, a hate-filled son and an evil sister-in-law all of whom resist his plans. I imagine it is a situation that was all-too-true then and remains all-to-true today.

I don’t understand why people are so afraid of any person making this kind of decision in his/her own life. It’s a perpetuation of the ages old discrimination: first, we hate you because you are a different religion; then, we hate you because you are a different skin color; then we hate you because you want to be in a same-sex relationship. Now, we hate you because you want to change the sex you were born with.

That hatred is fueled by any official organization (ahem, catholic church) that dismisses gender dysphoria as a “trend.” Getting a tattoo is a trend, not undergoing painful hours of surgery to change your physical body.

Personally, I think gender dysphoria is the most difficult life-changing situation to deal with, and it must be miles more difficult than my choice to live life as a gay man. I can’t imagine being in a situation where I felt that I was the wrong sex, and then having to deal with the necessary changes. My hat is off to every person who has traveled that road.